When all you need is...

Sometimes you might have a bad day.. or week.. maybe you said something which hurt someone dear.. or did something stupid.. or worse still.. did not do something you were supposed to do.. when you feel hell has broken lose.. when life seems topsy turvy.. nothing seems to be going your way.. you feel like a loser.. a good for nothing.. when tears stroll down your cheeks.. and your face flushes with embarrassment.. all you really need is.. A HUG! A soft voice to say 'It'll be ok!'.. and suddenly your world seems less gloomy.. your path less steep.. you can see the sun beyond the looming clouds.. yes.. all you need.. is a hug! :)

Dream dream dream...

Dreams… Ambitions… Goals… How important are these in one’s life? When I delve into my childhood, I am unable to recount if I ever had a dream – either to become Ms. Universe, or the most famous business woman, or to have a huge doll house all to myself, or to live in the clouds, or to walk on the moon! I was [still am!] a happy child, content with life, doing things I enjoyed and doing them with earnestness and to the best of my ability.

Would my life be different if I had a cherished dream? Would I have chosen a different path? Would I be more focused and driven? Well… May or may not be! I would really never know how life would be in a tangential continuum! I can only talk about life right here, right now. I believe in destiny. What will be – will be! Every person follows a different path to fulfill his/her destiny. I live one day at a time and embrace what life throws at me. There are some who defy life and challenge their destiny to follow their dreams. Do they manage to break free from the vicious circle… Or is it a futile exercise? Each to his own!

I believe that all paths lead to the same result. Trails are subject to choice, the outcome is not. So… Do I lack ambition, a purpose in life? It has been a long drawn out subject of self debate. My take on this – I am ambitious, but in a unique way! I aspire to spread joy, touch people with the warmth of love, live each day as if it were my last… And trust me – I live my dream every single day! What more can I yearn for? Sweet dreams… :-)

A tribute to my sweetheart… CALVIN!

Calvin - "To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible."
JJ - I so know what you’re talking about here Calvin :-) But sometimes if you wish hard enough….

Calvin - "Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
JJ - Ah… bliss!

Calvin - "If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again."
JJ - Tell me about it!!! Love to do it all the time… but work still manages to find me!!

Calvin - "Reality continues to ruin my life."
JJ - This one is my favourite!! Let me be in JJ world… no… don’t wake me up!! Noooooooooooo!!!

Calvin - "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
JJ - LOL!! Yeah I guess that’s true… hmmm… but why not eliminate us lesser mortals! Hope they are not reading this!! :-)

Calvin - "I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point."
JJ - Actually they might become prophecies of great insight and divine knowledge. Well… I said might!!!

Calvin - "Childhood is short, maturity is forever."
JJ – Well… imagine mature kids!!!

Calvin - "In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."
JJ – Well… if I ever enter politics… I have my agenda all set!!

Calvin - "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
JJ – Ah… no wonder!! :-)

Calvin - "You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!"
JJ – Well Calvin guess what… mine are gonna be the worst ever!!!

Calvin - "I keep forgetting that rules are for little nice people."
JJ – Which I am NOT!!! :-) Well… not little or not nice… keep guessing!!!

Calvin - "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
JJ - I am already running on overtime!!

Calvin - "Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension."
JJ - There… another mystery solved… How to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in 1 hour!!

Calvin - "In my opinion, television validates existence."
JJ - This is Aditi’s topic for her thesis! :-)

Calvin - "The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!"
JJ - Why do you think I am always so happy???

Calvin - "True friends are hard to come by...I need more money."
JJ - At this rate I am never gonna have any!!

Little Moments Of Joy

- by Barry Kingsley

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry.

Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night.

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940’s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said.

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers,” I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient at the end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware–beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said …but they will always remember how you made them feel.

To my best friend...

They say 'Love is rarer than genius... and Friendship is rarer than Love... Friendship is clairvoyant'

Its quite amazing! Just the other day I happened to have this conversation with a friend - about memories... they're like 'forever friends'! One can dredge up and relive all those moments gone by... the ecstatic, excruciating, vulnerable, perplexed, livid, invidious, gratifying, poignant and inane flashes which encapsulate our entire lives!

This is to my best friend... A song which translates what my heart feels for you. And no matter where you are... I will be two steps behind you - always. Missing you...

Def Leppard’s “Two steps behind”

Walk away if you want to
It's okay if you need to
Well you can run but you can never hide
From the shadow that's creeping up beside you
There's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all

Whatever you do - I’ll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go - and I’ll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around, I’ll be two steps behind

Take the time to think about it
Walk the line, you know you just can't fight it
Take a look around, you'll see what you can find
Like the fire that's burnin' up inside me
And there's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all, no

Whatever you do - I’ll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go - and I’ll be there to remind you
That it only takes a minute of your precious time
To turn around, I’ll be two steps behind

Mom's the world!

I am dispensable… and no matter how hard I try to refute this fact, it remains – well… a fact! There is just one person in this whole wide world who can disprove this statement, who can care for me till the end of the world, who can wage a war against the entire universe for me, who can pick me up when I fall – look at my sullied face and say “I love you” - and that person is my mother.

She is the one person who can stand by me when my world is falling apart, who can hold me in the palms of her hand when all and sundry shun me, in whose gentle embrace I can experience God. To everyone else I am a being – a friend, an acquaintance, a classmate, a fellow dweller on this planet! But to her – I am her life, her cosmos! I embody her dreams, her desires… I am an extension of her existence!

Mom – you have infused me with your “unconditional love”. All I can say in return is – “I love you too”.

This one is just for you!

I appreciate the many prayers you’ve whispered

during the worse moments of my life,

and the many hopes for my success in all that I dreamed of.

I appreciate the kind wishes that would make me so happy

and the gentle words of encouragement

that were meant to strengthen my quests.

I appreciate the moments of sorrow you experienced

during my failures, and the little gestures of kindness

that always made me feel better.

I appreciate your acceptance, your ability to understand,

and the sincere friendship

that always gave me such security.

I appreciate the wisdoms of all the lessons you taught,

and the meaning behind the words “unconditional love”

I appreciate all you’ve done – every word and gesture.

I know you’ve been the best there is –

A mother beyond all compare.

For all you’ve done… thank you, MOM.

For all that you are… I LOVE YOU.

Rain - Chicken Soup for the soul!

I am walking down the road… well yes… I agree with you, nothing exhilarating about it! Its just one of the mundane things I do everyday! I walk on – looking yet not really looking. And then… I see it! A sudden bolt of lightening flashes across the sky and ends in a twinkle in my eye. I breathe it, I feel it, its almost there – well, almost! And behold… here it comes! Pitter patter pitter patter… RAIN!!!

I see the raindrops – falling to the ground in an unremitting deluge. Drops of water following each other from the edge of a lady’s umbrella while she is trying in vain to protect her infant from the mizzle, from the fingertips of a toddler holding on to his mother’s hand as she walks ahead braving the barrage… water water everywhere!

I look up at the heavens and feel the rain plummet on my face. At that moment – time stands still. It’s just me and the cosmos. I stretch out my arms and experience the unity. My sorrows, my tears, my inhibitions, my fears, my prejudices, my disappointments are all washed away. The raindrops fall on my body, soak in and find their way to my soul. I am doused with joy and serenity. I feel liberated, rejuvenated.

As I stand there – I don’t hear the screeching of buses, the clamor of the people scurrying for shelter, the scrambling, the rumbling, the chaos… I just hear God’s melody. I hear my heart beat. In all the disarray I discover myself!

I open my eyes. There is a huge puddle of water right in front of me. I look at the world around me with the innocuous eyes of a child and then – hop… skip… jump… SPLASH!